


The Sadsturbation Of Leon Kuwata

by IsTheMedia



Series: Hope's Peak Failures [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Toys, Wet Dream, self exploration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-19 15:42:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsTheMedia/pseuds/IsTheMedia
Summary: Leon Kuwata THOUGHT everyone had themselves all figured out by the time they get out of high school He certainly did. He though he knew himself to the fullest.But he's slowly realizing that he might not know himself as well as he has.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Gauntlet's Discord. They introduced me to IshiMondoLeon and I'm in love! My three fave boys in a ship (and it's pretty dang cute if I say so myself). I just had to write something! 
> 
> I...just wasn't expecting to make ANOTHER minor series.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW-Minor Internalized Homophobia

**Pt. 1**

 

 

Leon Kuwata use to think he was a pretty good judge of character. He was pretty sure he could figure out people in a short amount of time. Find out things they’d like, disliked, shit like that. Sure sometimes he might make a brash jump to conclusions, but he ain’t afraid ta reflect on it….usually. 

Hell, he probably wouldn’t have gotten ta be friends with Taka-yes, Taka as in Kiyotaka Ishimaru-if it wasn’t fer that. 

People would look at the two and just question how the hell they even managed to be friends in the first place. Hell for a moment even HE didn’t get it either. 

It seemed that Taka disliked the fact as to how little he actually had to work towards his talent. Like he DIDN’T NEED to practice! He’s pretty sure that’s why the moral compass hated him…

Well at first. 

It seemed that once he showed his own annoyance of his talent, the disciplinarian seemed to start giving him a second chance. He’d tell him how he wanted to make if big on his own. Not being told he’s only where he’s at because of some ‘talent’. 

That was when Taka started to changed his tune about him. Much like how it changed with Mondo. He sorta saw WHY Mondo liked hanging out with him. Dude was like a positivity generator. Anytime Leon knew he hit a snag or just felt like shit; as soon asTaka would see him and give him a smile, insisting they do their best, it all went away. 

No wonder Mondo fell so fuckin’ hard for the guy. He knows he wasn’t as close to Mondo as Chihiro was, but even HE could tell that having somebody like Taka around did him a WORLD of good. 

Had to admit, felt damn good when those two finally got together, and of course at graduation. Talk about cliche. But it worked for them. 

Yeah, he had to admit back then it was just a better time. Leon closed the yearbook, before he let himself just flop back onto his bed. Looking at the cover of yearbook he could only scoff at what was printed on it. 

 

_ Hope’s Peak Academy! _

_ Where you future is a guarantee!  _

 

Tch, only guaranteed if you pursue your talent. If you didn’t then you were nothing. Oh you DON’T wanna pursue your talent in the real world? Well then too bad, so sad. 

Setting it aside Leon let out a sigh as he stared up at the ceiling. Eyes making shapes with the water stained spots on the drop down tiles. 

Yep, if you didn’t go into whatever your talent was, you were as good as done. It was why he was in a run down apartment, in the middle of the city, just trying to make end with what few gigs he could book. 

He knows if it was bad enough, that there were still managers who’d take him. He still get calls from them, several a week. But he didn’t wanna play baseball as a livin’. He’d play for fun, but not have it be his job. He wasn’t passionate about that! 

He wanted to play music. 

That’s what he was passionate about. 

His phone buzzed and he reached over for it...smiling softly as he checked the text.

 

_ Good luck in your endeavors today Leon!-Kiyotaka Ishimaru _

 

 

He chuckled some and shook his head as he closed his phone and set it aside for the night. Yeah that was one of the things that kept him going. Even after high school, just getting that boost from Taka really made all this hassle worth it. 

Despite the things that bugged him. 

And the one thing that bugged Leon about this whole life of his after school life the most--

Well okay there were a lot of things that bugged him, but this one is like...one of the top three. 

With no success meant no babes. Meaning there were more nights than he’d like to admit where his only company was his hand. And dammit it was getting frustrating and he KNEW his music was suffering because of it. 

Maybe he needed ta try somethin’ else. Somethin’ new. 

...but maybe he shouldn’t have jumped into something like this. His eyes darting around the store. Had to admit, he always thought porn stores were always sorta dirty and sleazy. They always had that feel in movies and shit. So, seeing the store clean and well lit was a bit of a surprise. 

He looked around trying to ignore the feeling of invisible eyes following him. Judging him. 

What the hell were some of these things even!? 

He’d like to think he wasn’t so vanilla, but looking at some of the items plastered against the wall and on display--holy shit maybe he was. He didn’t even know what he should be looking...or even if he SHOULD have been. 

Man, maybe he should done some looking into before coming here. Then maybe he’d have an idea as to what the hell he should even get. Because straight up porn and jacking off just wasn’t cutting it. 

What did dudes even get when they’d come here? 

It was a long and awkward forty-five minutes, assuring the person behind the counter that ‘ _Nah everythin’_ _is fine! Just, debatin’ ya know?’_

It took so much effort for him to not just bolt out when he set the item on the counter. He didn’t even know WHY he picked it up. There was just...a feeling to. A small voice tellin’ him ta go for it. 

He really REALLY hoped the guy at the counter didn’t see him sweat as he lied between his teeth. Yep sure, uh-huh totally fer a chick. 

It wasn’t until he was back in his apartment and just staring at the bag that everything seemed to just click into place about what happened. He groaned as he fell back onto his bed. He shouldn’t have even bothered. Like, what the hell? He was having enough trouble trying to pay for amenities, so why did he just waste money on this stupid thing! 

He couldn’t even use it!

…right?

His eyes slowly trailed over to his phone. 

Soon he was searching online, in incognito mode. ‘ _ Can guys use vibrators _ ?’ Leon’s face flushed with heat as he saw what the search brought up. Articles about how they aren’t meant for just ONE gender. That these toys are meant to stimulate nerve endings. 

He swallowed. O-okay so it’s totally normal...ish. 

But, did this mean he was actually gonna use it? 

Nah, nah, it didn’t. H-he was fine! Totally fine! It was just pressure of that moment. The feeling that he needed to walk out with something. That feelin--

He was already searching on how to properly use it. Man, he felt like he was back in high school hitting crunch time on researching for his homework. 

And Taka being right over his shoulder telling him which were proper articles and which weren’t. 

He flushed deeper. What the hell? Why was he thinking of...Taka now? W-why did it feel like, he was going off on what the other would say--

_ ‘This one really doesn’t go through much detail on prep, you should really look for another.’ _

Leon yelped and almost threw his phone across the room. What the hell was that!? I-it sounded like…

Taka. 

B-but why!? 

He shook his head. J-just his imagination. H-he’s panicking over something so dumb, and lame, and stupid. This was no big deal! It wasn’t! 

...m-maybe he should try this later. 

_ ‘Would you really do this later?’  _

Goddamn that voice again...and that tone. That was the same tone the moral compass would take with him when he’d tried to procrastinate. Taka never bought it, and he was right to. 

“Fine fine,” Leon grumbled to himself as he looked back to his phone and tried to find a more ‘suitable’ article. 

It took a bit, but he eventually found one that wasn’t so...squicky. It seemed to be more mature and just tried to make this seem natural to do. There were not buzz words or attempts to try and be, ‘hip’. Just basic information, and general encouragement. 

The statement of, ‘ _ it’s alright to explore’, _ repeated again and again. That it’s alright to get to know yourself physically. That it was just important as knowing yourself emotionally and mentally. 

Shit, that sounded like something Taka would definitely say. 

Okay...okay. H-he could do this! 

Leon laid back on his bed after kicking off his pants and underwear. So far, so good. Ain't too weird. Not like he HASN'T laid back like this before. I-it was just like any other time! 

Alright...so this-this was going to be a thing. H-he could do this. Like it seemed that it was more common than he thought, so no biggie! He looked at his phone once more and tried to read the thing though without panicking. 

He did better this time. He shifted and spread his legs ou--Lube! H-he needed to get that first. Sitting up he rummage through the bedside drawer. H-he might have forgotten to get any. Oh damn if that was the case h-he'd just need to try aga--

Fuck. 

His fingers brushed over the bottle...maybe there wasn't a lot in... He shook his head and sighed. He was being such a pussy right now. He grabbed the half full bottle and laid back. Take some deep breaths. I-it's not all that weird. 

He could do this...

The sound of lube squirting out seemed to be louder then normal, and it send a shudder through him. Laying back more he tried to find a comfortable position to be in. Trying to find out how far his legs should be apart and the best way to keep them like that. 

His slick finger tips sorta dragging and almost mindlessly drew shapes on the inside of his thigh. 

_ ‘Just take your time. You rush it, and you’ll just end up hurting yourself.’ _

Leon rolled his eyes. Why was it every self-pep talk he tried to give himself sounded like they came from Taka? Wait--was that why he was hearing his voice right now? 

Well this was making things just slightly awkward. Just slightly though. Cuase, it’s not like Taka KNEW and DID things like this before...right? 

Wait why the hell was he even thinking about this? H-he was in the middle of something! 

Huffing to himself Leon tried to get back to what was going on...he swallowed some. Alright. Alright, he could, do this. Yeah totally. He bit his lip as his fingers trailed from his thigh down. Slowly. Very….very slowly. 

He jumped as they dipped into the crease of his pelvis and thigh. A-alright s-so far so good. Closing his eyes and tried to not think about how he might look. All tensed and blushing. Hand shyly moving further back and--

He gasped as he felt his fingers actually brush against it. Tight and hot...his rubbed at it with the pad of one of his fingers. So, not too weird. Just different. Breathing in deeply through his nose he added a bit more pressure. Slowly and carefully the tip of his pointer finger slipped inside. 

Now THAT was weird. But, not like bad weird. Just...weird weird. 

It was a slow progress. He wasn’t sure if it was suppose to feel good at this moment, because it wasn’t. Not at one...not at two, and definitely not at three. Then again it wasn’t feeling bad, or painful. Maybe he just wasn’t into it? If that was the case then he could just stop here an--

_ ‘Leon, you can’t KNOW unless you try. And you’re still curious and unsure. Just trust yourself.’  _

Taka’s voice played in his head. About how natural it is to learn about your body. How knowin’ it made it easier for you to make connections with others. All that junk he’d talk about. For a prude, the dude sounded like he could get pretty kinky. 

Leon shuddered as he pulled his fingers out and eyed what was basically step two. He could do this...i-it wasn’t weird. I-it was just…

Shoving a phallic shaped object up his aaaaaa--

Nope, nope he wasn’t doing this. Abort abort! 

‘ _ It’s completely natural to experiment! _ ’ Taka’s voice rang in his head. And Leon felt his body shudder some. 

A-alright, y-yeah. I-it’s totally normal! Completely normal!

He shifted slightly. Legs trembling as he tried to lay back right to do this. It didn't help he kept jumping each time the tip brushed against the relaxed ring of muscle. Exhaling through his nose, he tried to focus. 

H-he could do this. 

But did he want to? 

_ 'You have been tense. I assure you, this will help you!' _

Leon blinked. Why the fuck did he STILL hear Taka's voice now? He shook his head, and took a deep breath before he tried again. 

_ 'Deep breathes...like how you explained how you've gotten your piercings!'  _

Closing his eyes some he focussed on his breathing. There was a buring, stinging pain. Fuck, why was he doing this!? It took a sharp edge before it lessened along with some of the pressure. 

_ 'The head's in.'  _

Leon grunted slightly as he pushed a bit more in. It still felt weird...weirder than his fingers. He pushed it a bit deeper and flinched a bit. 

_ 'Don't force it!'  _

Okay seriously why was it Taka's voice he was hearing!? Shouldn’t it be, like, his own? Ugh whatever! 

_ ‘Now try pulling it out a bit.’ _

Leon followed the instructions his mind provided him. God why did guys do it? He could feel it dragging against his walls and it sent a shudder up his spine. And not in a good way. 

_ ‘Now back in.’  _

Alright, it was easier this time, in fact it felt like it got a bit deeper. Okay yeah he could do this. He began moving it a bit faster, pushing in a bit deeper. It wasn't weird, but it wasn't feeling, well...good. Also his wrist was getting tired. 

_ 'Turn it on? It vibrates remember?' _

Leon felt his face flush as he recalled the look from the shop owner. How he eyed Leon when he, well...he freaked when they made a comment about how ' _ some lady's gonna be thrilled with this _ '. 

His felt along the base with his thumb and felt the little switch. He took a deep breath and switched it on and--

“F-fuck!” Leon tossed his head back. O-okay yeah...yeah that felt good! 

He started again, moving it in and out. Pressing his face against his pillow as he moaned softly. Holy shit, who woulda thought something as small as vibrating would feel so fuckin' good? 

The slick sound of lube squishing in and out grew louder as he picked up speed. He could feel his ears burn...and feel that burn run down his neck. His hips were rocking with the movement now. Pushing back against it, getting it deeper still. And then--

Leon choked on his cry as his vision went white. O-oh shit what was that!?

_ ‘Your prostate. It’s vital in the male sexual response cycle.’ _

Shit, w-was Taka’s voice getting, heavier? Whatever, he-he needed to do that again! Hips bucking back as he tried to keep a rhythm. His other hand finally wrapping itself around his leaking cock. 

Fuck...fuck! It was good! 

Too good! 

“A-ah...f-fuuuck!” 

_ ‘Just let it go.’ _

Pressing it deep and hard against that spot Leon shook as he came. “Fuc--Taka!”

Everything went white, oh shit felt like he was blind! He legit couldn’t see anything! 

He was sprawled out on his back panting harshly. The static feeling slowly ebbing through his body as he came down from his high. To lost in his head to hear the vibrator fall off the bed, and rolled on the floor. He’d get it later, right now he just wanted to enjoy this.

Oh god. 

Oh fuck! That was good! That was so good! That was--

The sudden realization hit Leon like a bat to the face, a feeling he knew all too well. He just mastrubated...while using a vibrator. While he imagined Kiyotaka’s voice, telling him what to do. 

And he came harder than he had in...FUCK! He can’t remember when!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW-Minor Internalized Homophobia

**Pt. 2**

 

Had to admit this show had to be one of his best…

Too bad it probably due to the fact of him STILL freaking out what happened a few nights ago. And fuck! It wasn’t goin’ away either! He was now waking up with a boner nearly every morning, and the only thing he can remember is Taka’s voice.

He wasn’t gay. And Taka was just a friend...and in a committed relationship with Mondo! This was like fifty shades of just fuckin’ wrong!

So that added edge just made his songs come out a bit more aggressive. And it seemed people were really digging it. Like, he was going for that punk style so being pissed off all the time was sorta the goal.

Fuck he needed a drink.

And the guy said he’d get at least a free one for performing along with the pay. As he made his way through, he could feel some of is ire ebb some. It was sorta nice having people talk about how cool his show was. How awesome his voice was. Fuck even asking for a signature.

Alright so maybe it was going to be a bit bet--

Oh fuck.

Leon could FEEL himself pale as he made it to the bar, and saw who was there. If the markings on the jackets weren’t enough of an indicator...then the guy right at the bar with that all too familiar hair proved there was no doubt...life fucking hated him.

“Yo Kuwata,” Mondo grinned and gave a slight wave.

“Uh, y-yeah hey,” he could feel himself break out in a cold sweat. Oh shit...oh shit! W-was Taka here? No...lo-looked like is was a Diamond only get together.

“Been a while, but seems like ya werent’ kiddin’ ‘bout the music stuff huh?”

Leon couldn’t stop himself, he should have bailed, but nope! His legs just kept on carrying him to the bar. Fuck he even sat right next to the former gang leader…

Wait, is he former? “So...ah, why are ya out an’ about? Shouldn’t ya be all annoying and cute with Taka?” That sounded natural right?

Mondo threw head back and laughed. “ It’s my last night as leader man!”

Alright, so soon to be former. “Really? So whatcha gonna do after?” Leon asked as the bartender set him up with a drink. Leon graciously took it.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout goin’ inta carpentry,” Mondo admitted with a slight blush.

Leon shrugged, it made sense. Dude was good with his hands. He saw him whittling away and such during high school. Helped built Chihiro a shelf specific for his awkwardly shaded programming books too.  Fuck he remembered surprising Taka with a simple desk when the moral compass mentioned how he needed to new on in his dorm. Shit, right he dragged Taka out and tried ta help him, but everything was ‘ _too big_ ’ or ‘ _too cramped_ ’ or ‘ _not enough drawer space_ ’ and ‘ _too much drawer space_ ’. He swore he was gonna tear his hair out by the end of it.

“Thing’s ‘tween you and Taka still good?” Shit why ask that?

The look on Mondo’s face...the same love-struck look the guy wore back in high school. “Real good. We jus’ got a new place.”

Alright, so it wasn’t that bad. Yeah, felt like it was back in high school. Just shooting the breeze. Just...each time when those memories of the night before started to raise up in Leon’s head, he’d just have another drink to push it down.

The night stretched on to the early hours of the morning, and Leon has officially lost count as to how many drinks he had.

Okay so maybe it was a dumb move on his part. Like, a really REALLY dumb move. But he needed to do SOMETHING to distract him. Fuuuuuck why was life hating him so much right now? Bad enough he’s questioning everything he knew about himself all because of that one fucking night...and every night since then.

He couldn’t let it slip out to Mondo that he 1) had jacked off to his boyfriend, and 2) has been having dreams about said boyfriend--why the fuck did he have such shitty luck?

“Hey Kuwata, you gonna be alright there?”

“Huh?” Leon looked up, cheek pressed against the bar top. “Yeah m’fine m’fine.”

Mondo barked out a laugh. “The fuck you are! C’mon, how the hell didja git here?”

“Just walk,” he slurred and made a small unhappy sound as he was forced to sit up. Dammit, he forgot how strong Mondo was. Oh shit, was he always this warm?

“Let’s git ya outta here. I’m takin’ home.”

He just nodded, the words not really registering with him. Home? Yeah sure Mondo can take him home. His mind started to rapid fire images of Taka and ideas that plagued his dreams. Hell he wouldn’t mind if Mondo watched.

...that actually sounded kinda hot.

“Ya gotta hang onta me, I ain’t lettin’ just fall off,” Mondo instructed as he helped the placid musician onto his bike.

Leon just hummed and shrugged, he followed what Mondo told him to do and held onto him. Wow...the guy was warm. Like really warm. He shifted and moved his arms so they looped around Mondo’s chest. He couldn’t help but wonder where Taka must have held onto when Mondo would take him for a ride.

There was the roar of the engine and--

Oh fuck.

The whole bike was vibrating.

And goddamn it felt good. He really didn’t wanna pop a boner right here, but fuck it was hard not to just grind into it. He could recall a conversation he had with Sayaka back in high school, telling him there was a reason the girls liked to hang out in the laundry room.

He didn’t get it at first-and really didn’t get it all but like she needed to know. But now that cheeky lil’ smile and wink when she said ‘ _the washer vibrates_ ’, made perfect sense now.  

Biting his lip each time Mondo would rev the engine to stop any sound coming out. There was a good chance he wouldn’t be able to hear with the rushing wind, but he didn’t wanna take any chances. He shift some and just tried to press down hard into the seat.

The bike jerked and his hold tightened, and fuuuck...he got a nose full of worn leather and something else. That same styling mousse the biker used since high school. Shit, it smelled pretty nice.

Dammit...this was making things worse.

He tried his best to swallow the moan that wanted to break out when they went over rough road.

Maybe he should look into getting a bike himself. Consider it a multitasker of sorts.

Leon almost whined when the bike came to a stop. Those vibrations dying down, and he tried his best not to just grind down in an attempt to chase after them. The bike swayed and he felt himself being pulled off.

Good god, did Mondo always have such warm hands?

“Let’s getcha inside ‘fore ya pass out.”

Again Leon just nodded and leaned a bit heavily against the biker. The smell was near intoxicating. So damn good. He wouldn’t mind waking up to it. Geeze he was a bit jealous of Taka now.

The trek up the stairs was a hassle, and there were several times Mondo threaten that he’d leave Leon right on whatever step it was. But they made it to Leon’s door.

“Ya sure yer gonna be alright?” Mondo asked as he eyed how Leon’s body swayed some.

“ M’fine,” he waved the biker off. “Just gonna git some sleep…”

“I’ll text ya ta make sure ya didn’t die,” the biker said with a grin.

Leon flipped him off before he turned to his door. It took a few attempts but he eventually managed to get his key in...and then another few to get it to turn. He could hear the biker chuckling behind him. With a mumbled ‘ _good night_ ’ Leon slipped in and leaned against the door heavily.

He was tired, but fuuuuck he was honry too. That bike ride was bad enough, but the entire way up the stairs. Just being all over Mondo did nothing to kill his hard-on. What gives? Didn’t alcohol make it harder for guys to get it up?

Or maybe he was just that sadly desperate and needy. Kicking off his shoes he shuffled over to the couch that sat against the far wall, across from the door; and all but collapsed on it.

Maybe he just needed to get laid. But he didn’t know if he wanted to pick up some chick, or...try it out with a dude. He shifted some as he felt his dick twitch some...and something else clench.

Maybe he was using the vibrator too much...it felt like he wanted it just as much as he wanted to get off. But that was in his bedroom.

And right now in him drunk-addled mind, the couch was winning out because it was right here. He shifted again and rolled a bit to be on his back, just so he could get to his belt and pants easier.

Clumsy hands eventually got the belt and his tight jeans open enough for him to slip a hand in. Groaning softly as his hips arched up to grind against his palm he tried to let his mind go blank. If only for a moment.

Hips rocking up into the touch he couldn’t help but squirm a bit. Feeling like he needed more. Pushing his jeans down the best he could, he reached down with his other hand. One hand working his twitching cock while the other tugged and cupped his balls.

But it wasn’t enough.

He whimpered some, knowing what else he wanted...but that meant he really had to admit it. Ah fuck it.

Yeah okay, from everythin’ he’s read spit is definitely not the best thing to use...b-but shouldn’t be too bad if he just stuck with two fingers right? Though sucking his fingers seemed a bit weird--then again so did using a vibrator.

Pulling the hand not busy working his hard-on was brought up to his mouth. And slowly Leon worked on slicking his middle and pointer finger. It was just going to be something quick, just enough to get them wet.

Though...it seemed like he might have enjoyed having them in his mouth a bit too much. Fingertips brushing and running over his tongue piercing, and just the sucking action was actually, kinda nice--

Pulling them out with a pop, Leon could feel himself shudder. Geeze was he getting some sort of oral fixation now too?

Oh whatever...whatever!

He wanted to come, and just...go to sleep. That’s all. That’s all he wanted to do.

Pressing his face against the arm of the couch Leon tried to bite back some of the sounds that were coming out. But fuck...when did he get so sensitive? His wrist was getting tired, and he was lying at an awkward angle.

His thoughts went back to just getting the vibrator, but that would mean he would need to get up...and he didn’t wanna stop quite yet-god fuck! He couldn’t reach it. His fingers were probably long enough, just the fucking angle…no matter how much he tried to flex his hips or arch his ass back.

God he wanted it though. He wanted to feel that again. Maybe he should just get up and move. Just give in and use the vibrator, he knew it could reach it...and it was getting easier to slip it in. But his body didn’t wanna move from this spot.

Shit, drinking this much was probably a bad idea…

Ah wait. There was that, thing he read about. That it could be stimulated from the outside?

He thinks that’s what it said. Or at least something like that.

Right, if he remembers he could--he shifted some, and pressed his thumb up against the strip of skin. First gently then again with a bit more force. Then again with a slight twist and he cried out.

H-holy shit you COULD do it from the outside! Moaning softly Leon adjusted himself to laying more on his stomach as worked his fingers in and out, his thumb pressing against that strip of skin. Hips rocking and grinding against the cushion made it so he could have a free hand to grip onto the arm rest.

He moaned as he thought back to just moments before. Hearing that rough voice. That warm hand the settled on his back as Mondo helped him out of the bar.

How good the biker smelled.

“Ah..ahn...hmmm...M-Mondo…” His hips ground harder as his breathing picked up. His imagination working over time. Being back on that bike as the engine revved. As he was pressed up to Mondo’s back, whimpering almost pathetically.

_‘Come for him.’_

Leon gasped at the voice...it wasn’t Mondo’s.

But Taka encouraging him.

And fuck did he. He cried out as pressed his face into the couch cushion as he came. He could hide the eventual stain left behind...something sober Leon can worry about.

His body felt all tingly and warm. He just wanted to lay there and just let his mind play back those voi--

Leon pushed himself up suddenly as he face took on a deep red hue. O-oh shit...oh shit! He scrambled to his feet and made a dash to his bathroom.

A shower..a cold COLD shower.

His mind was frantic. What did he just do? What did he JUST do!? It was bad enough having these, fantasies about Taka, but now--NOW having them with Mondo!? An-and the both of them at once!? Leon stood under the cold spray, just staring down at the drain, unfocused eyes watching the water just swirl down in . He could feel hot tracks of tears running down his cheeks.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He shouldn’t be going through this now, at his age! H-he shoulda had everything all figured out in high school. Like how everyone else did.

...did everyone have it all figured out though?

He let the water pelt him for a while longer, until it was almost too cold to handle. He could feel himself shuddering, and goosebumps raising all over his arms and legs.

Turning the shower off he carefully stepped out and dug out a towel to wrap around his waist, and another for his hair. The chilled apartment air was enough to make his teeth chatter. He made his way out of the bathroom and picked up his discarded clothes to set them in a pile off to the side of the bed. Fishing out his phone from his pant pocket he got onto his bed, not even bothering to put anything new on.

He just wanted the night to be done with. Dropping the towel he was using to dry his hair off to the side, he looked at his phone.

Maybe he needed ta talk to somebody about all this. He needed to get it off his chest. If he didn’t he was-fuck-he was afraid of what he might do. The thing was…

There was only one person he COULD possibly talk to about all this. He took a deep breath, and texted them.

 

_yo chi, busy 2moro? gotta talk_

_its big_

 

Leon sighed as he sent the message before he laid back. If there was anyone who might be able ta help him out, it was Chihiro.

Well...he hoped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self-doubt. questioning sexuality, slight panic attacks

**Pt 3.**

 

Leon tried to ignore the piercing stare he was being given. Maybe Chihiro wasn’t the best option to talk about this with. He tried to ignore the strong stare, and play it off as just wanting to get together with an old friend. 

“Leon, just spill it already,” Chihiro huffed. 

“Eh? Ah, spill what? I-I ain’t got nothin’ ta spill,” Leon replied. 

“You said it was big.” 

“I...might have been a bit drunk when I text ya,” he admitted. 

Chihiro sighed. “Leon, you suck at lying. I could call Sayaka to join us, she knows how to read you like a book.” 

Leon groaned slightly. “God please no--wait, how do you know you can get Sayaka ta do that?” There was a moment of silence, and then Leon watched as Chihiro’s face took on a slight pink shade. “Wait wait! Chi! I thought ya said you were--”

“I am,” Chihiro said in a hushed voice. 

“So you and Sayaka aren’t--”

The programmer sighed and shook their head. “Leon, a relationship is more than the physical stuff you know.”

Leon blinked. Well yeah, but physical junk was still part of it right?

Chihiro took a sip of their tea. “You know that Sayaka can’t ‘be’ in a relationship with her pop idol status, right?” Leon nodded. “It...really kinda got to her. She called me one night because well...I was the safest one she could call.”

Chihiro went on telling Leon about how they met up with Sayaka later on. How guilty the pop idol felt for asking them dress how they once had, but she just couldn’t risk anything happening, to either of them. 

It soon became a habit for them. And Sayaka was actually doing better the more they met up. 

And then...there was a shy small kiss. 

That’s when they knew this was more than just friends meeting up. 

“I see...so,” Leon looked the programmer over, taking in what they wore. “Ya meeting with her after this though?” 

“No, why?” 

“Cause just um...just noticin’ what yer wearin’ is all. I mean ya went through tryin’ to get out of tha--” 

“Things can change once you’re out of high school,” Chihiro stated. “I mean, we don’t know anything even after we graduate. I mean I thought I was going to be happier being able to feel more confident in dressing like a guy. And I was...for a while.” They shifted a bit in their seat. “W-when Sayaka asked to meet me like that...I...I realized I actually missed dressing like that…”

“Wait! S-so it’s cool if ya don’t got yerself all figured out?” This...this was news to him. 

Chihiro blinked and raised a brow. “Um, yeah? I’m not the only one...you have heard what’s going on with Byakuya, right?” 

“Oh yeah…” Leon thought back on it. It made news about the promising heir was ‘throwing his life away’ with a scandal. Said scandal being him caught on a date with Kyouko...and Makoto. 

He always had a feeling the ‘holier than thou’ jerk had a thing for the two of them. He always seemed to give them the time of day.  

“...Leon? Are you...noticing things about you?” Chihiro asked, and Leon felt his stomach drop. 

“Ah? W-what? No no! W-why...where wouldja get an idea like that?”

Chihiro’s eyes narrowed some. “I’m calling Sayaka.” 

“No don’t!” He heaved a sigh and hung his head. “I...think I...I don’t think I’m straight.” 

“...I could be cheeky and say that it’s about time, but I’m not.” 

“What do ya MEAN it’s about time!?”

“Leon don’t yell,” Chihiro urged as they noticed some of the other people in the cafe now looking over to them. 

The musician sunk in his seat. “Sorry...b-but still. T-the hell do you mean?” 

“I mean...you went from playing sports to go into music,” Chihiro said. 

“So!? I didn’t wanna go pro!” 

Chihiro shook their head. “You also tended to thrive off more of the positive feedback you got from the guys than the girls.” 

He did not! 

…did he? 

“I mean, I thought you were serious when you made that threat to Mondo,” they continued on. 

“Huh? What threat?” 

“The one where you said, YOU’D ask Taka out if he didn’t?” Oh...right. B-but that was just a joke. A-a way ta push Mondo’s buttons! Right...right!? “But you didn’t seem too distraught so I don’t know.” 

Leon felt his head spinning. W-was he...did he like Taka like that? Like even back then!? H-he can’t remember…

“You...alright Leon?” 

“...I...think I like Taka.” 

The admission had the rest of their lunch to be carried in an awkward silence. Chihiro unsure how to ask how, explicit Leon wanted to get with the details. And Leon was trying his best not to shout out to just forget about it.

It wasn’t until they were heading out that Chihiro finally spoke up. “So...how’d you realize that?” 

“Do ya really wanna know?” 

“Leon, this is really bugging you. I can see you twitching.” 

Heaving a sigh as they headed to his place, Leon tried his best to keep the conversation, relatively decent. Explaining that he had a rough time. That he was feelin’ lonely...that he took a trip to a sex shop. 

Once inside his apartment complex, heading up the stairs, he continued with a little more detail. How he’s still somewhat freaked out he bought a fucking vibrator, and that he’s usin’ it more often than he’d like to admit. 

And it was all cause he made a connection to Taka during the first time he used it. 

And it didn’t stop there. 

“There’s more?” Chihiro blinked as they were about to sit down.   
Leon grabbed him and urged him to sit on one of the chairs, instead of the couch. The programmer unsure of the gesture. “Y-you’ll git why inna second.” 

He sat down on the far edge of the couch and talked it over with the programmer. How he ran into Mondo. Got smashed because fuck if he was gonna let it spill that he was jacking off to his boyfriend. Told them how when Mondo brought him home he was...noticin’ things about the biker. 

How last night he was buzzed, honry, and just feelin’ alone. And what he was going off on was just happened earlier that night. Getting off on just thinking of the biker…by grinding up against one of the couch cushions.

And Taka’s voice encouraging him to do so. 

“...and then you texted me?” 

“Nah man...I showered and spent like fifteen minutes wonderin’ what the fuck was wrong with me...and then I texted ya.” Chihiro rolled their eyes. “But uh...y-ya get it now? Why I wanted ta talk?”

“I get why you were shocked to hear that people DON’T have themselves all figured out by the time they leave high school. But...why talk to me?” 

“Dude! I can’t talk to them!” Leon almost yelled. “I-I just needed ta get this offa my chest, ya know? Cause maybe, it’ll stop now.” 

“Leon…” 

“I can’t Chi! I-I can be fine.” 

“Leon.” 

“I ain’t ruinin’ what they have. If I’m gonna be this fucked up, least I can do is not drag them in an--” 

“LEON!”  Chihiro yelled and Leon jumped a bit. They were glaring at him and shit, when did Chi’s glare become so potent? “Do you really feel like that?” 

“Ah...l-like what?” 

“That you’re fucked up?” 

He frowned. “Chi, no normal person would be actin’ like this ya know?” 

“You’re an idiot,” they huffed. 

“Hey!” 

“You are! Leon, it’s alright. Listen, have you seen any other guys out and about that you would go; ‘hey I want that’?” 

“Well...no?” 

“Well, what about with me?” 

Leon stared at Chihiro. What the hell were they getting at? “...no?” 

“Leon…” 

He sighed. “No Chi...I ah...I don’t...like for real I don’t.” 

“I think you should talk with them,” Chihiro said. 

“No Chi, I can’t…” god his throat started to feel tight. “I-I just...fuck no. I-it’s weird enough just trying ta talk about this with you!” He rested his elbows on his knees, as he hands wound in his hair. He couldn’t...n-no. There was no fucking WAY he’d tell them! 

“Leon…” Chihiro sighed as they stood up. “Alright you don’t have too…” They walked over and place a hand on top of his head. “I’m glad you did talk to me at least…” 

“Y-yeah,” Leon swallowed as he tried to keep it together. “Ju-just felt like I was goin’ crazy. Just...needed ta tell somebody.” 

Chihiro nodded. “I, hope you get things worked out. Maybe we can get together again later...I can bring Sayaka too.” 

Leon hummed slightly. “Yeah...I-I’d think I’d like that.” He lifted his head and tried to give Chi a slight smile. Sure th-this was alright. This was fine. He DID feel a bit better knowing that at least SOMEBODY knew. 

And hell, knowing that he wasn’t the only one trying to get shit together after high school made him feel even more at ease. He waved as Chihiro left…

When the programmer was outside of Leon’s apartment they pulled out their phone. It was probably a bad idea. Leon’s reaction to actually TALKING to them showed that the other really wasn’t ready for it. But...if he waited it was just going to make things harder. 

Taking a deep breath...Chihiro texted a familiar number. 

 

_ Hey Mondo, it’s Chi.  _

_ You and Taka busy?  _

 

The next few days were a bit easier on Leon, well at least in his opinion. Talking with Chihiro really DID help. He wasn’t berating himself as much for NOT knowing what he wanted like he has been. 

Things seemed to be moving a bit smoother for him. 

Hell he couldn’t argue when he get himself a gig. And not just any, it was a month contract. Things were looking up a bit for him. It might be enough to actually take his mind off the more…

Off  _ those _ issues. 

He was gearing up for his first show of the night. It was a bit better than a dive bar, but it wasn’t the stage like he’d hope for. But at least he would have some sort of regular income for this month. 

The night club was definitely more his pace. And even though he wasn’t as on edge as he was before, he still thinks he did pretty well. The crowds seemed to think so. Making his way through the club he was pulled aside, stopped, praised and almost tackled by people who just had to tell him how awesome the show was. 

Damn if he could keep feelin’ like this--

“Ya did good up there Kuwata.” 

Everything just froze. 

Nah...nah h-he wouldn’t be here. This was not a place he could even SEE Mondo giving a second chance. H-he had to be hearing things. 

“Leon,” another voice called and-fuck no. 

Carefully he turned to look over where he heard those voice came from.

And he was already making a mad dash to the doors, but was stopped and nearly hauled off his feet. FUCK! Bad enough Mondo was strong but SHIT he forgot how strong Taka was. He failed and kicked some. Mondo trying to divert any attention he KNEW he was causing. 

Fuck...FUCK! Dammit Chi! Why’d you have to go and tell ‘em!? That HAD to be it! How ELSE would they know he was here!? 

He text Chi cause he thought that they and Sayaka wouldn’t mind popping in!

FUCKING HELL! 

He was so stupid! Stupid stupid stupid! 

H-he woulda been perfectly fine without them knowin’! 

“Wouldja just calm the fuck down!” Mondo hissed as he and Taka forced him into one of the back corner booths. 

Leon’s chest was heaving as he tried to still flee. H-he couldn’t do this. He couldn't he couldn’t! 

He wasn’t ready. 

He was NEVER going to be ready! 

“Listen...i-it’s weird, yeah, but we ain’t gonna like fucking kill ya or anythin’,” Mondo said. 

But it wasn’t reaching Leon. His heart was still hammering in his chest. He was shaking. He felt sick. They weren’t supposed to find out! Th-they were NEVER supposed to find out! 

“Leon.” 

He jumped as he felt a hand take his. He tried to pull it back, but it had a firm hold on his. Slowly he lifted his eyes from staring at the table and met red. 

“Chihiro said this was...r-really affecting you,” Taka began. Dammit Chi...you really did tell. Why? You said that you wouldn’t. Fuuuuuck.  “And, just now...I can say that it is indeed.” 

“I-it’s nothin’,” Leon could barely get his voice above a mumble. His eyes were throbbing, but he refused to actually start crying in front of them. They had to deal with him right now. They didn’t need to have him being a crying mess on top of all this. 

“It ain’t nothin’,” Mondo sighed. 

“L-listen can...can we just forget this even happened?” his voice was almost begging. “J-just--we can go home and act like thi-this night never--” 

Taka sighed. “We can go...but,” he looked to Leon. Locked eyes with him, and despite Leon WANTING to get lost in those bright red eyes, he had to force him not to. “We’re not forgetting this.” 

“Taka please,” Leon choked out. 

“Leon. We’re...willing to help out with this.” 

Wide blue eyes just looked at the two. 

W-wait. Th-they--They couldn’t be SERIOUS about this! 

….right? “Wh-what?” 

“We can try something out, and just see how it goes from there,” Taka elaborated. “M-maybe go on a date or--” 

“Taka...l-listen I...I don’t think I can, totally handle that,” Leon said. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I dunno...I just...listen can we just fuck and work things out from there?!” Man that coulda been asked in a better way. Like really better, since Taka and Mondo both looked a bit annoyed. 

Taka sighed and shook his head. “Fine...but! We’ll do it, how WE want to. Alright?

“Wait babe you sur--” Mondo looked to the other slightly taken aback. 

“If it’s what Leon is most comfortable with, then I am sure.” 

Leon just stared at the two. 

N-no way. W-was this...was this really happening? 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW-Panic Attack

**Pt. 4**

 

_“We will do it, how WE want to.”_

 

God, Taka’s proclamation was still ringing in Leon’s ears. It was DAYS ago, but he still heard it perfectly. H-he honestly didn’t know what to expect. He thought that it was going to be a simple, ‘we’ll fuck and be done’, sorta thing...like he suggested.

But the baseball player wasn’t expecting to be taken out to a actually pretty nice dinner. Maybe that was Taka’s idea.

Hell even when he got to their place, it was just, taken slow. Couple of drinks and just talking. Mondo made the first move by pulling Leon close and giving him a kiss. I-it was awkward but...but fuck it was good. He didn’t even care that he was a whimpering whining mess after it.

Fuck how starved was he?

“Leon...do you still want to do this?” Ah that was Taka. H-he still had a chance to back out of it, if he wanted to.

But did he?

He still wasn’t sure. He shook his head.

“Just...let us know, alright?” Before Leon could respond a new set of lips settled over his and…

He almost lost it. Really kissing Taka was a hell of a lot better than just imagining it. Not like kissing Mondo was bad just...fuck both were good.  

“S-should we move this?” Mondo’s voice asked, almost sounding winded.

“I believe...t-that might be a good option...Leon?” Taka called.

“I ah...umm...yeah?” He was still reeling. Thi-this was happening, holy shit this was really happening! He couldn’t even comprehend he was just following them through their new apartment to their room until he was in the doorway.

“Wouldja just get in here?” Mondo huffed as he sat down on the bed. H-how long was he just standing there?  

Leon stayed in the doorway, just standing awkwardly. H-he could call this off. Just say he was out, and just leave. It could be something that simple.

Something that easy.

“Leon?” Taka called as he stepped up to him. “Do you still, want to do this?”

“I...I’m not...I don’t…” Leon yelped as he was pulled into the room before he could even finish. “I-I should he-head home.”

“Yer not the only one unsure…’bout all this ya know?” Mondo sighed as he pulled off his shirt. Leon couldn’t help but just take in the tanned skin and muscles that were now on display. “We’re doin’ this cause ya brought it up.”

 

_“I dunno...I just...listen can we just fuck and work things out from there!?”_

 

Leon flinched slightly. H-he definitely could have said it better that night in the club.  

“We know that...it’s uncomfortable not knowing about yourself,” Taka said. “It’s...frightening and confusing. So...if this is going to help, then please. Let us help?”

Goddamn, why did Taka always have to sound like that? H-he felt like he could do this. Th-that there was nothing to hold him back now. He didn’t fight when Taka pulled him along to sit on the bed with Mondo, and the moral compass sitting on the other side of him.

“Leon?”

Leon looked over to Taka, and gasped as the other kissed him once again. One hand shooting out to grab onto the others shoulder as he kissed back. H-he felt like he was out of practice for kissing while Taka seemed like a pro. How the hell did that even happen?

Wait he was pretty sure he could answer that.

He mewled softly as Taka gently bit at his bottom lip, and gasped as he felt a second set of lips press to the back of his neck.

R-right, Mondo was here too. H-he almost forgot. It seemed that the biker wasn’t liking being left out. Leon felt rough finger tug and pull at his shirt collar as more kisses were placed along his neck and down the exposed part of his shoulder.

One of the biker’s hands, reaching around and resting on the button and fly of his jeans. Leon moaned softly and rocked his hips into the touch.

A hand worked its way in. “Shit how fuckin’ tight are these?” Mondo groussed, and Leon could only let out a breathless laugh. “C’mere.” Mondo pulled him closer and worked on pulling off his jeans, the biker kissing him as he did.

Leon felt the bed shift as Taka got up. He watched through lidded eyes as the other undressed, folding his clothes as he did. He squirmed against Mondo as he was pulled further onto the bed, his jeans being pulled off and hitting the floor with a soft sound. Calloused hands slipped under his shirt and that was it for Leon.

He shifted and turned around to face Mondo and nearly threw himself at the other, kissing him hard. Hands on those broad shoulders urging the other to lay back. Mondo’s hands still working on pulling off the others shirt.

Leon sputtered some as it was pulled off, hair messing up and falling in his face. He swore he heard Mondo mumble ‘ _cute_ ’ under his breath, and Leon felt his face heat up. Before he could do anything more Mondo pulled him down for a quick kiss before he started to mouth along his neck, the shirt being dropped to the floor.

Leon could feel his body shaking. His skin was already feeling sticky with sweat but he couldn't be bothered to care. Clawing at Mondo's chest and shoulders as the biker was nearly chewing on his neck. It was going to bruise. He had no way of covering it.

If this was just going to be a one time thing, then dammit all Leon wanted SOMETHING to remember this...shoving Mondo he was flat on his back Leon leaned down.

Mondo flinched as he felt teeth dig into his neck. Leon wanted to make sure he'd remember too. The sound that was pulled from his throat as he felt Mondo's hand tangle into his hair, nails scratching at his scalp--his hips bucked slightly.  The hold tightened as he felt the biker urge his head down.

He was panting. He knew he was. Panting and shaking, almost whining...but he followed. Kissing and biting his way down the others chest. Another scratch of nails and Leon's eyes closed as he moaned against the warm skin under his lips. It felt like he could come from something like that.

What happened to him? Why was he suddenly so sensitive...so needy.

He whimpered as he felt his hair being tugged and pulled his head back. Part of him wanted to smirk because, he HOPED that red face Mondo was sporting was because of what he was doing. He needed a little bit of an ego boost at the moment.

“What d'ya think yer doin'?” Mondo ask, voice thick and deep.

Leon closed his eyes as he felt heat build up in his gut. Fuck, and Taka heard him like that all the time? The bed dipped behind him-speak of the devil. Must've just finished picking up their clothes. Even in a time like this, the moral compass wanted to keep things tidy.

“It's impolite to not answer a question,” Taka began.

The was a breathless shout from Leon as he felt a second set of hands wrap around him, hands splaying over his chest. Pulling him to sit up, and away from the biker. Part of him wanted to whine from being pulled away, while the other part wanted to melt against the other.

Fuck he forgotten how built Taka was. Dude could bench press him...a thought that made his cock twitch some, the wet head dragging across the fabric of his underwear. God fuck..he-he wanted…

Mondo shifted and sat up. “C'mon and tell me whatcha want.”

It wasn't a request, it was a straight up command. “You,” came the nearly begging whimper. “Fuck I wanna...wanna--”

“Wanna what?”

Leon felt calloused fingers take ahold of his chin and tilted his head to see heated violet eyes. Lips met the side of his neck in soft, gentle kisses.

A pathetic whimper broke out. “I wanna suck yer cock, god fuck...p-please lemme…”

“Is that all?” Taka asked, lips brushing against one of Leon's earring, and sending a shudder through the baseball player's body.

Leon bit back a whine-only to have a cry burst out instead as he felt a hand cup him through his underwear.

“C'mon, ya can tell us.”

Leon's hands flailed a bit, unsure as to who to grab onto. His mind racing as his fantasies rushed and filled his head. He couldn't--he-he couldn't!

He could feel his chest heaving. Tears stung at the corner of his eyes. This was too much.

Suddenly the hand between his legs was removed and he was being lain down. His mind was still frantic, and his heartbeat was still racing.

Wh-what?

“Leon?”

He couldn't tell who was talking to him.

“We're right here.” There was a set of strong arms holding him-was he shaking?

Another hand reached up and brushed at his wet cheek--wet? He tried to speak but that came out was a choked sob.

H-he was...he was crying.

_Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave._

God this was so pathetic. Th-this probably had him loose any chance now. He--

Hands settled on his cheeks and had him look up. He was staring into bright red eye. “Breathe Leon, just take a deep breath. We're right here.”

_ Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave.  _

Fuck he didn’t even know why he was feeling like this now.

He felt lips press to the back of his shoulders as a strangled sound escaped him. “Didja need us ta leave?” Mondo's voice rumbled against them.

_ Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave.  _

No! God no! Leon shook his head, unable to trust his voice, his chest still heaving slightly.

“Alright, alright,” Taka said softly, fingers running through Leon's hair sending a pleasant tingling sensation down his spine. “Let me get you some water...alright? Mondo will be right here.”

Before Leon could even nod, the other was already out of the bed. He was trying to calm his breathing some but he just couldn’t. They were probably going to make sure he’s calmed down before sending him on his way.

He should have never even bothered letting them know about all this shit in the first place. Argh, he was such an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

He managed a yelp as he was pulled to sit up, back still pressed against Mondo’s chest. The bed dipped down again as Taka joined them, glass of water in hand. Leon expected Taka to hand him the water, but he was realizing that he obviously didn’t know the other as well as he thought, when Taka raised the glass to Leon’s lips.

He took a drink, and he didn’t realize how dry his throat was. He drained about half the glass before it was set aside. Taka reaching up to cup his face. “Better?”

He nodded a bit numbly. He thought so at least. “Y-yeah…”

“We can stop,” Taka said.

“No,” Leon mumbled. “J-just...just a lot…”

He felt Mondo kissing along the back of his neck. “We can slow down if ya want.”

Lolling his head back some Leon felt his body shudder. “Dunno what I want...j-just don’t stop...please.”

Taka and Mondo looked to one another, as if silently debating if it was a good thing to continue or not.

“You have to tell us if you need to stop,” Taka said, and Leon nodded.

“Take him,” Mondo urged and Taka pulled Leon close to him as Mondo shifted off the bed to get rid of his own pants and underwear.

Taka was sweet with his kisses, and it drove Leon insane. They were small, and just...so good. Only deepening when Leon relaxed enough to his liking.

The bed dipped down again as he felt those way too warm hands settle on his sides. Mondo leaned in and nuzzled Leon’s neck, just under his ear.

Leon moaned softly and leaned back.

“So...ah...still wanna suck me off?”

“Mondo!” Taka scolded.

“What?!”

Leon chuckled some, right he said that. And god, he still wanted to. “Y-yeah…”

Mondo blinked. “H-hey I was kiddin’, don’t go forcin’ yerself ta--”

“Mondo,” Leon glanced over his shoulder. “I wanna.”

“Um...y-ya sure?”

Leon huffed and nodded, as he braced himself, rolling onto his stomach. God fuck, Mondo was big. Could he do this? He knows it's gonna be nothin' like...w-what he practiced on. B-but he could still fucking try.

“Ain’t gonna bite,” Mondo teased.

“Not helpin’,” Leon shot back as he swallowed some. Alright so...the best way to do this? Shifting some and reached out, hands shaking a bit as he wrapped it around the base of it. Mondo grunted and rocked his hips up.

O-okay h-he could do this. Pulling himself up onto his elbows he tried to get in a somewhat comfortable position. It was so hot…

He took a slightly uneasy breathe before he leaned in close, and dragged his tongue over the head. The sound he pulled from Mondo--he wanted to hear it again. Slowly he moved from shy short licks, to longer strokes of the tongue. And soon Leon found him sucking at the head.

It still felt a bit odd, but not...entirely unwelcomed. The weight on his tongue was definitely something he could get use to. He tried his best to suck and bob his head but it was just getting messy with spit and precum. Though it didn’t seemed like Mondo minded, as once again he felt the biker’s hands run through his hair. The nails gently scratching at his scalp.

Leon couldn’t help but moan, and that in turned had Mondo buck his hips. Blue eyes widened as he pulled back with a cough. Shooting a glare at the biker, who just gave a sheepish smile in return, Leon sighed as he leaned down to try again, but stopped as he felt a hand on his ass, and the waistband of his underwear being pulled down.

“I ah...i-is it alright if I…” Taka trailed off and Leon could feel himself tremble.

Oh fuck. Fuck yeah th-that was something he’s been wanting for a while. Not trusting his voice he nodded-and to prevent him from POSSIBLY saying anything he leaned in and took the head of Mondo’s cock back in his mouth.

He tired to calm his racing heart, but the sound of a bottle being popped open stopped any hopes of that. Trying to focus on his other task proved to be nearly impossible when he felt something cold and slick rub against his hole. Taka’s fingers were just slightly skinnier than his, and not as rough. Maybe just a bit longer too?

The hand in his hair tightened as Mondo pulled Leon down further onto his dick. Leon moaned as he sucked at him. Body shaking with what was going on. Mondo’s hand was guiding his head to bob up and down, just as another finger was being pushed in.

Leon could feel his own dick twitch as he lowered his hips, thighs trying to spread wider, but were restricted by where his underwear was bunched up around them. Slick wet sounds were bouncing off the walls.

Taka had managed to work four fingers into Leon, leaving the up and coming musician a moaning and whining mess.

“C’mon babe...I wanna see ya in him,” Mondo moaned deeply, and that tore another moan form Leon, causing a loop of pleasure back to Mondo.

Taka was panting some and nodded as he pulled out his fingers. The whine that left Leon was something he was going to deny until the day he’d die. But dammit, the empty feeling was like twenty times worse than it was when it was just the vibrator.

But it seemed he didn’t have to wait too long though. There was a slight crinkle of foil-ah right of course he’d use a condom…

Leon soon felt something hot and blunt prod at the relaxed ring of muscles. Slowly and carefully Taka worked himself in. Pausing every few moment to make sure Leon was alright.

All Leon could do was moan softly around the cock in his mouth, hoping Taka would get the hint to just keep going.

“Leon.”

God he needed to tell Taka how fuckin’ good his voice sounded when it was all husky like that. A small moan worked its way out of his throat when he felt the other roll his hips slightly, pressing in deeper.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Mondo groaned as his fingers thread into the dyed locks. “Ya feel so fuckin good.”

Leon wanted to reply-but he just couldn’t. He made a slightly choked sound when Mondo’s hips rocked forward. He could hear the biker give a soft murmuring ‘ _sorry_ ’-but he didn’t care. Fuck...he really didn’t know himself at all. He would have never imagined how good it felt to have a cock in his mouth. The taste on his tongue . The ache in his jaw-that he never wanted to stop.

White lights blinded the baseball player for a moment before he felt himself pressing back against Taka. Yeah, a lot of realizations coming out tonight. He moaned causing Mondo’s hips to jerk.

A hand reached around and started to stroke him.

Oh fuck!

Leon lifted his head off Mondo’s cock with a pop. “W-wait wait--oh fuck.”

Taka pulled his hand back. “Too much?”

Leon rested his cheek against Mondo’s thigh. He couldn’t think straight right now. He was so close but he didn’t want it to end quite yet.

“Too much?” Taka asked again, voice soft and ragged. Leon nodded moaning softly and pressed his face against Mondo’s thigh trying to calm down.

“H-hey, Kiyo, turn ‘im over,” Mondo suggested.

“Ah, Mondo?”

“Trust me babe,” Mondo smirked.

Taka sighed but followed through, and Leon choked back the whine that left him when Taka pulled out. The baseball player shifted some, unsure how to feel about the sudden emptiness, but couldn’t think too long before he was turned over.

He couldn’t make out what the two were saying, mind still reeling from what was going on. He moaned softly as Mondo pulled him up more, so that his back was pressed to the biker’s chest.

He thought he heard the crinkling of foil over the pounding of his heart. Suddenly he felt his hips being lifted and--

Oh...oh Fuck!

Mondo was bigger than Taka! Or at the least wider...but shit it felt good. Leon was gasping and moaning, unable to control himself. There was a high pitched cry as Mondo bucked his hips up. Leon’s head was tilted back, resting against the biker’s shoulder as he keened. So good. Fuck!

“Shit yer tight,” Mondo moaned softly as he thrust up, grinding against him.

His senses were assaulted to such a degree that he didn’t even realize Taka settled himself between his spread legs again, until he felt a hand wrap around his leaking cock. Cracking an eye open Leon watched as Taka adjust and shifted until he was--

Fuck! Leon moaned and bucked his hips as he felt Taka press his own cock, the condom now removed, against his. That steady hand working the both of them.

Leon had one arm wrapped around Mondo and the other reaching for Taka. His vision was going white. His mind was fuzzy. He couldn’t make any sort of coherent sound. Everything was cranked up. Taka’s hand around their cocks, Mondo brushing against that bundle of nerves sending streaks of white hot pleasure through him.

He wasn’t going to last. His breathing hitched as he cried out.

“Let go,” Taka murmured as he leaned in and kissed Leon.

Leon moaned and whined in his mouth as lights flashed behind his eye lids. Hips bucking into Taka’s hand, and grinding back against Mondo’s thrusts.

Teeth sinking into his shoulders with a harsh tug was all it took. Choking on his near scream Leon came. Cum splashing over his stomach and chest, fuck he felt a drop or two hit his cheek.

“Shit shit…” Mondo hips stuttered as his rhythm gave way to harsh ruts and grinding up against Leon before he came with a shout.

There was a second splash of warmth splattering over Leon’s stomach and chest as Taka found his release shortly after.

Dazed blue eyes could only stare blankly up at the ceiling. His body was completely limp, as a pleasant buzzing sensation wracked his brain. He could hear somebody talking, but he couldn’t make out who it was. His eyelids felt so heavy…

He knows he was a mess, but he couldn’t be bothered to clean up. His eyes drifting fully shut as the world went black around him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Care, self-doubting

 

**Pt. 5**

 

Leon slowly woke up to something...brushing against his face. Slowly he opened his eyes and found himself looking up at Taka. 

“Hey,” Taka’s voice was hushed and soft. “Are you, alright?” 

Leon hummed, and nodded. Mind too tired to actually form any words quite yet. 

“ C’mon, let’s git ya cleaned up,” he felt the bed dip as Mondo knelt on the side of it. The two must have cleaned themselves up as he...well, passed out. 

Shifting some and slowly pushing himself up, he couldn’t help but wince at the twinging of his sore and achy muscles. 

“Lemme--” 

“M’fine,” Leon slurred voice still heavy with sleep, as he batted Mondo’s hands away. Pushing himself off the bed and--

Thwump. 

He was on his knees on the floor. The pain in his knees was enough to wake him up a bit more as he just stared at the floor. Wh-what just happened? 

Mondo was chuckling as he knelt down. “Now will ya lemme?” 

Leon didn’t even get a chance to argue as the biker scooped him up, causing him to flail slightly before his arms wrapped around him. Seemed like Mondo didn’t mind though as he carried the other into the bathroom. 

Taka was already in there, pulling the curtain back on the back and detaching the showerhead from its clip and turning on the water. Mondo stood there waiting for Taka to give the okay once the water was deemed proper. 

Leon shifted a bit in his hold. There weren’t many words exchanged yet...and he started to let the reality sink it. 

What happened…

Fuck it was amazing. H-he fucking passed out because of how good it was! H-he didn’t know what he was going to do now. When they tell him that it was all fine and good, but were ready to move on. 

Mondo set him in the tub when Taka deemed the water to be a decent temperature and handed the biker the shower head. Mondo took care in rising Leon down, as Taka dug through to find a washcloth to help with the…

“Sorry,” Leon blurted out. Feeling like he needed to say something. 

“Huh? The fuck you apologin’ fer? Fer carryin’ in here?” Mondo raised a brow and Leon shrugged.  He didn’t really know why he did either. It was the first thing that came to mind. “Listen I’ve dealt with worse.” 

Leon looked over his shoulder with a raised brow. “Say what?” Mondo did a quick take to make sure Taka wasn’t listening before he leaned in and whispered in his ear. Leon felt his eyes widened and looked to Taka before back to Mondo. No way...h-he knew Taka sucked at holdin’ his alcohol but-- “He pissed himself!?” He couldn’t help but laugh. 

There was a choked sound and something being thrown at Mondo. “I told you to NEVER bring that up!” 

Mondo was laughing as he picked up the washcloth. “C’mon, I took care o’ yer drunk ass more than enough times.” Taka huffed. “And you took care o’ my ass too babe.” 

Leon sighed as he watched the two. Yeah, they really didn’t need him messin’ up what they had. Even though he knows he was probably gonna feel dead inside after all this, it just didn’t feel right to mess this up. 

He couldn’t help the slight squeak he made when Mondo picked up the towel and proceeded to help clean him up. Trailing it down his stomach--

“Babe hold this,” Mondo said as he handed the showerhead to Taka so he could reach between Leon’s legs. 

Leon’s hands clung to the sides of the tub, as he bit back a whine. He was still really sensitive and any touch was send jolts through him. 

“Are you alright?” Taka’s voice was laced with concern. 

“J-just--ah fuck, wait stop,” Leon pushed Mondo’s hand away. 

“Shit, y-yer sore?” Mondo asked. 

“Just...sensitive,” Leon managed as he panted slightly. 

“Ah...gotcha,” the biker nodded and handed Leon the cloth so he could finish up himself. 

It went back to being quiet. The only sound was the water spouting out. Part of Leon was actually saddened by the fact the he was washing away the evidence that this night even happened. Letting it just go down the drain. 

“Leon?” 

Turning his head to look at Taka-he made a slightly surprised sound as he was caught off guard by a kiss. He dropped the cloth and reached up to hold onto the other, just wanting to savor it for as long as possible. 

He didn’t even cared that he whined when Taka pulled back. 

“C’mon let’s getcha out,” Mondo was by the side of the tub, towel in hand. “Think you can stand?” 

“Uhh…” Leon contemplated a few moments before trying to stand up. Legs shaking, wanting to give out at any moment still. But Taka was helping him stay upright, and Mondo was wrapping him up. 

And undignified squawk left Leon as Mondo once again scooped him up once the towel was in place. Leon sighed as he wrapped his arms around Mondo again as he was carried out and back to the bed. His mind trying to to go through what he had brought with him, so he could just grab it and leave as soon as they’d kick him out. 

“Hey babe, didja find him somethin’ ta wear?” 

“I believe he can fit into these,” Taka said as he handed Mondo a pair of well worn sleep pants.

“Hey think ya can get these on?” 

Leon eyed the pair. They...weren’t kicking him out yet? Well, that could make sense, he could barely stand on his legs. He knows that aren’t THAT cruel. “Uh y-yeah sure.” 

It took a little finagling, legs not moving quite how they should yet, but Leon managed to get them on, noticing that they were a bit loose in the thigh in hip area, but tight in the calf and ankle-but he could manage. 

“C’mon, it’s still late,” Mondo said with a yawn and urged Leon back to the middle of the bed. 

Taka was already settling himself in on the left side. 

This was going to be too much. Leon threw one of his arms over his eyes, in an attempt to hold back the tears he could feel wanting to form. This was going to be the worst! He thought it was bad just edging himself, knowing he can’t have and wouldn’t KNOW what it was like to have the both of them…

But now? KNOWING what it was like, and KNOWING he wasn’t going to have it again? God fuck! I-it felt like he was drowning. 

“Leon?” 

“Y-yeah?” He choked out, not removing his arm. 

Taka bit his lip. “W-well...you did say, after all that,” Leon could feel the bed shift...l-like Taka moved, closer? “We could, try and work things out?” 

He slowly lifted his arm. Tears already welling up, he knew this, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it. “W-what?” 

Taka looked away to pick at the blanket some. “I mean...I can understand i-if you don’t want to--”

An arm was wrapped around Leon and pulled to Mondo’s chest. “Listen...are ya...just gonna leave after this or...we gonna, fuck I dunno, do something else?” 

Leon blinked. 

No. 

No this can’t be happening. 

There was no way this could be. 

H-he never get this good of luck! NEVER! 

B-but here this is! Being laid out on a gold platter that would make Byakuya envious. 

“I-I--” he couldn’t get his voice to work. 

“I mean...i-it’s different, and I, really don’t know wh-what we would do in this,” Taka continued on. “O-or if you really want this. B-but just…” 

Oh fuck! He wanted it! B-but how? How? How did this EVEN become somethin’ possible!? 

Mondo kissed the back of his neck. “Just...durin’ that freak out ya had...you kept sayin’ don’t leave. I mean ya snapped outta it but...got me and Kiyo talkin’.” 

Oh...s-so that’s how. “I-” Leon swallowed as he tried to talk. “Y-yeah...god yeah I…” he couldn’t go on, all he could do was nod. 

“A-alright then. So...h-how about we just, get some sleep and...talk more in the morning?” Taka suggested. 

“We can treat ya ta breakfast,” Mondo added. 

All Leon could do was just nod. H-he was still waiting for something, anything to just come and take this away…

But...he figured m-maybe a few more hours of this, it would be worth it. 

Even if in the end they changed their minds in the morning.  


End file.
